Archive | August 2013

Radically Obedient Radically Changed

We’ve gone through quite a bit in the last 4-5 years. My sweetheart had to stop working. He’s a chronic pain sufferer. There’s a list of things the doctors state (migraines, fiber myalgia, arthritis, degenerative disks, high blood pressure, etc.) but, we’re still believing in Devine healing. My mother in law had a stroke (almost a complete recovery, praise God). My mom was showing signs of dementia. Both moms have type 2 diabetes. There’s more that happened in the last 5 years but those are the majors. Everything & everyone’s lives seemed like they landed on me. I was supporting family members that needed a hand, I was taking care of our responsibilities (what 2 checks once paid only 1 did now). Children needed help & there was no thought, we helped. Life wasn’t as easy as it had been. Life wasn’t being taken for granted any more.

Things change for good & for … well, lets just say for the better yet to come. It was hard, it was depressing, it was for my good, eventually. I felt alone, in a desert, desperate for God but, He was saying “I’m on the other side. Keep working through this time. I’m waiting for you.” My sweetheart tried to help, he tried to support me the best he could. I needed Jesus but, He had a plan for me to grow. Growing pains, man, they hurt. I started eating & eating. Wrong comforter. Chips, candy, junk food, fast food none of this satisfied me but, I sure tried any way, lol. I had/have a great job (praise God) but, I wasn’t satisfied or happy there either. I wasn’t enjoying children’s ministries any more either (other than having my 1st grandchild in my class 1 year). I just wanted what we had! Financial comfort, freedom, joy, a great relationship with Jesus & family. I wanted my life back! God said wait. Wait. I hate waiting. Can’t we just go to the store & get it? I’m a good person & so are our family members! Why Lord, why?

I’ve been through Refiners fire. Man, it is hot & uncomfortable, it’s lonely, it’s dry, it’s miserable, I wouldn’t recommend it … or maybe, I would. I’ve come out stronger, more in love with my Jesus & my sweetheart. I’m down 40 pounds & feeling like I’m going to hit my goal. I have the same job & I love it. We’re doing ok financially. We can pay the bills there’s not a lot leftover but there’s enough. Our marriage is stronger than ever. My mom lives in a nice facility & for the most part she’s happy. My MIL is happy, they’re buying a new home! Wow! In their 70s & buying a new home. #Amazed. BTW, my sweetheart’s folks were pastor’s, it was a long time for them too.

We never know where God is leading us. But, it’s our responsibility to trust Him. Our responsibility to believe regardless of how things look. Every day I pray for The Lord to change me, make me more like You Lord. Use me, I want to be the person that makes others say ‘there’s something different about her, I want that’. Make me radically different, radically obedient, make me Jesus with skin on. Lord, when I wake up make satan cringe knowing I’m walking out the door to claim Your grace. Give me grace, show me love, heal my man & make me the woman of God You intended me to be! I love You Jesus, I trust You, I’m Yours! Amen.

This is my life. I’m good with it. I’m better with it with Jesus, my sweetheart & our whole family.

This entry was posted on August 29, 2013. 5 Comments

Hearing The Voice of God

I want to hear Him. I need to hear Him. Direction can only come from Him & it’s in Him that I put my trust.

I’m learning to map verses. This is when you take a verse & you break it down to make it more personal & get greater insight. Lets use Hebrews 3:15 NIV:

“As has just been said: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.”

I read that verse & it touches me. But, now I’ll map it.

As has just been said {now, this is now}: “Today {again, it says now} if you {that’s ME!} hear his voice {God’s voice}, do not harden {don’t freak out, stay focused on Him} your hearts as you did in rebellion {hmmm, could He be talking to the teen in me?}

That made it more personal to me, plus I think the Lord has a sense of humor, why else would he create teens. But, that’s me mapping for me.

Today, I realized I could map a verse for someone else in prayer. Lets see if I can do it with the same verse.

Lord, you have said if we hear Your voice, we need to listen & not harden our hearts, not question You. Amen.

Love it. I’ve learned to look for 5 things when I’m not sure I’ve heard from the Lord. Is it Biblical, is it consistent with God’s character, has it been confirmed else where, is it beyond me & would it please God.

Hearing from God is personal. I’ve heard His voice, His actual voice a couple of times but usually it’s just a sense, a knowing its from Him. I think that’s why we question it so much. We want it to sound like us but can you imagine? Hebrews 4:12 ESV “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” I love my husband but, I can’t imagine his voice piercing me to the division of … well, anything. Lol. My husband’s voice is deep, loving, caring & inpatient 😀. But, God’s voice cuts through everything going straight to my inner most places. Wow!

Luke 11:28 NIV “He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.””

I can’t end this any better than that.

This entry was posted on August 24, 2013. 2 Comments

The Word as a Weapon

I’ve been a Christian for many years I’ve read my Bible from cover-to-cover several times, I read verses daily. Why have I not memorized them, tattooed them on my heart, made them a part of who I am? The other day I was blessed to be part of a call with Mandisa. She was awesome, so down to earth & so filled with the love of Christ. She quoted scripture with ease, I was #Amazed. I need to get serious about getting the Word into my heart. I know that I know that I love God with all my heart, I know that I know He is my savior, I know that I know He’s my all in all. I know these things yet, I’ve not put His Word into me, they are a formidable tool & yet I’ve yet to commit them to my heart. Today that ends.

“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord” 1 Peter 3:15

“God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God” 2 Corinthians 5:21

That’s a good place to start. That’s really all it will take. I will right those verses out several times, I will say them out loud, I will map them, I will even try to use them in a conversation today. They will become part of who I am. Why is this so important to me? Because I made a choice long ago to live for Christ. I made a choice (a choice because He is such a gentleman He lets us choose) to commit myself to Him. I’ve been lazy the last few years. I’ve prayed, I’ve read the Word but, have I put anything to action lately? I don’t think so. Lord, forgive me for my selfishness. Lord, use me, change me, make me the person You had planned all along.

We’re in week 3 in our Bible study of “What Happens When Women Say Yes To God” by Lysa TerKeurst. I’m changing & I’m grateful. I need to change. Not because I was bad before but because I want more. I want more of Jesus. I want to be the woman of God He intended me to become. Heck, this blog is His outreach, I’m not a writer, I’m a wife, mom, grandma, HR coordinator. I’m not a writer yet the desire to put the words He has put into my head & heart have to get onto … paper (you know what I mean).

The time for change has come. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17. Lord, this is my prayer, change me, use me, I’m all yours! Amen.

This entry was posted on August 21, 2013. 10 Comments

Facebook vs Work

I’m an HR Coordinator of a smaller company.  I love what I do & I pray that I do my job with Jesus.  HR laws change all the time, you have to stay up to date.  Well, when you are “friends” with employees on Facebook it takes away your ability to just have fun.  After all, it is a social media.  If an employee complains on FB about work & I read it … well, I’ve just been informed.  Regardless of the day or time I am suddenly the HR Coordinator & not the “friend” I feel like being on my off hours.  It’s a difficult decision to “friend” or not to “friend”.  I’ve made it a rule not to “friend” fellow employees.  Keep it simple.  They don’t have to worry about what I see or know & I can do the same.  It’s nothing personal … okay, that’s not true, it’s a very personal decision I have made.  But, it should never reflect on the people at work that I consider friends it’s just that as long as we’re working together the friendship must remain a work friendship.  It’s less complicated.  When I’m on FB I want to have fun.  Joke with friends, laugh at posts that may not be ok for work, look at the pictures of my girls & their families.  I want to be able to post anything & everything I want about my relationship with Jesus.  I can’t bring that up at work but, I can on FB!

If I work with you & you’re reading this … know that I like you.

 

#SayWhat

I’m loving my studies!  I have learned so much & I just feel the overflow from the Lord.  Such an amazing feeling.  Today work has totally gotten in the way, lol.  The need to get on here has been intense!

I’m on chapter 2 of What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst … no, I’m not a slow reader, we’re doing it as a group.  Geesh. =D  It’s all about hearing God’s voice & how to get confirmation.  I have to admit, the whole chapter has been confirmation.  I sat alone in my living room reading, I must have looked crazy cause I kept saying (without sound so I wouldn’t wake my sweetheart) wow, oh my gosh, that’s happened, it IS HIS VOICE!  Grabbing at my hair, hands flying in disbelief.  You would have thought I was reading a suspense/thriller, lol.  But, so much of it resonated with what I have seen, felt & heard.  Even the music I listen to … suddenly, the songs sound new, personal, as if He is singing to me.  He paused for me ❤  The Lord of all the earth paused for me.

I’ve been trying to remind myself to … well, heck … to shut up during my prayers & listen.  I keep saying I need to remember this is a 2 way conversation.  It’s hard, I want to fill the silence but, I’ve stopped myself & sat in the quiet.  I love the feeling that transpires it’s so calming, peaceful, filled with love.  Those words aren’t graphic enough but, I’m praying you understand what I’m saying/feeling.

When Dick (my sweetheart) & I first started dating I also started a relationship with Jesus.  My heart used to feel like it was literally over flowing.  Eventually it mellowed out as most things do in time.  Well, it’s happening again.  I feel my heart over flowing & I hope you feel it too.  I’m praying that you feeling Galatians 5:22-23 “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”  I know I am.

Please, Lord, let other hearts be touched by your love.  Your unending love.  Let them see it in the words & feelings you had me express.  Let it be YOU not me.  I love you Jesus.  Amen.

This entry was posted on August 13, 2013. 12 Comments

Circles of Prayer

“Long before we woke up this morning and long after we go to sleep tonight, the Holy Spirit was and is circling us in prayer.”

I learned a new word today it’s Paraclete. It means advocate, helper, Holy Spirit. Awesome. I love learning & I have to admit I love it even more when I realize its something that lines up with my faith.

Matthew 17:20 – Say to this mountain ‘move from here to there’ and it will move. At some point we have to remember to speak our faith into that mountain.  Sure, we pray to our heavenly Father & we ask for His help/blessing but, we sometimes to forget to take the next step.  Tell the mountain about God!  Proclaim His power, declare His sovereignty, affirm His faithfulness!  We need to stand on His Word!!  It’s important to wait for God but, we have to be sure we’re using our faith too.  How many times have I just prayed & waited when all along He was telling me to go do this or that?  There’s this joke I think about when I’m thinking about … stuff (hmmm, that sentence is not quite right, but, you know what I’m saying).  There’s a woman in a raft surrounded by water, she prays for help & some men row towards her & ask if they can help her & she says no, I’m waiting for God to save me.  Then another boat comes by & she says no again.  Next it’s a helipcopter & she turns it down!  She prays again & she hears the voice of God say “I’ve sent 2 boats & a helicopter.  You need to get in!”  Did I miss the boat?  Did the helicopter fly over?  I need to remember to stand on His Word & put it into action.  I pray, I listen & I have to move.  Faith without action is wishing.  I’m done wishing, I’m reaching towards my Savior, I’m listening for His voice, I’m looking for His loving arms to hold me.  I’m standing up, I’m moving, I’m being faithful, I’m in love with my God.

The First Post

I had a blog once … I didn’t do anything with it. But, it was about my weight & not about something the Lord wanted me to talk about. There’s no success without Him. I’m normally a very quiet person when it comes to something so personal to me. I’ll share with family but, nothing like this. I just feel such a pull to do this. So here we go.

I’ve been reading a couple of books … yes, I read, lol. I’ve been reading Draw the Circle by Mark Matterson & What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst. Both such powerful books in my walk with the Lord. I’m learning so much & feeling so much closer to The Father (thank You Jesus). In Lysa’s book she writes about God pausing for me. How amazing is that?! I’m just a little insignificant cog in such a huge wheel but, He pauses for me! He knows me, He loves me! Wow. But, I have to do something with that too. I can’t just sit by I need to be active in my faith. For instance, I’m writing a blog (if only you could see the smirk on my face, lol). I’m not being self confident I’m being God confident. This is a whole new way of looking at things for me. When it comes to teaching children’s church I never even gave it a second thought, it came natural … well, after the first couple of weeks, lol. But, somehow making a fool of myself with kids seems fun. Now, writing this, knowing adults will read this. People can be so judgey (yes, I said judgey, it’s a word, you just need to read my dictionary). I feel apprehensive yet, as I write this I feel so empowered. That’s the Holy Spirit cause it’s for sure not me. Mark wrote “the way you steward the miracles of God is by believing for bigger & better miracles. God stretches your faith so you can dream bigger dreams.” Well, I have my personal dreams & the Lord knows what those are (along with those I study with) but, this … this is a big dream, it’s a God dream cause, it wasn’t mine. This is a huge step in faith & I’m trusting that He’s going to use it for His Kingdom. I’m praying for Him to use me.

Thanks for taking a minute out of your day to read what’s in my heart. If you have suggestions for improvement or ideas for me to write about that’s cool.

Oh ya! One more thing #YestoGod, #PalmsUp. That’s for my friends who are doing an OBS with Proverbs 31 Ministries What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst.

This entry was posted on August 9, 2013. 4 Comments