His Goodness Makes Me … Awesome

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I don’t know about you but, I look in the mirror & I just don’t see what others see. Curly hair, all I see are the frizzies. My eyes have shrunk over the years, they’re not big anymore. I’m fat, not as fat as I was but, still fat. Hmmm.

I didn’t have a say with the curls. It’s taken me years but, I like my curls now. Super easy to style.

My eyes … they’re my Daddy’s eyes. I miss having big eyes but, I miss him more. I have my Daddy’s eyes.

My weight? Ya, I did that to myself. I didn’t rely on my Savior I relied on sour cream cheddar chips, chocolate, ice cream & fast food. Not my best move. That was a definite AM (against me). I’ve been working on that. I’ve lost 44 pounds. I still have a way to go. But, I’m relying on God. Do I do that constantly? No, not at all. The last few weeks have been rough. I’m trying to stay on plan but, everything looks so good it’s hard. I’m believing by sharing this most personal of journeys will give me strength. I KNOW God is for me, I KNOW I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. So, why aren’t I losing weight? Why have I been gaining/losing the same 2 pounds.

My sweetheart suffers with chronic pain. My mom has dementia. I eat. I can’t fix either one of them. Hmmm, bacon? Hot chocolate? Yum yum yum. No no no!

God doesn’t always answer my questions the way I want. Sometimes He says wait or have patience. Yuck. I gained the weight pretty dang easy. Did I mention the chips or my friends Ben & Jerry?

Life isn’t always great, nope, sometimes it kind of sucks. But, I know He’s taking me through His Refiner’s fire. I’m a beautiful child of God who took a wrong turn for a while. Was it adultery, drugs or theft? No. But, I still didn’t bring my issues to Him. For the longest time I didn’t realize that He wants to pause for me, his chosen child. Even if it’s just something like I’m feeling overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities. He wants to help me, to hold me & comfort me.

The other day my awesome OBS leader & sweet sister in Christ Katrina Wylie asked us a question “what is your life verse?” I thought that was so easy! Psalm 31:25! “She is clothed in strength & dignity & she laughs without fear of the future.” A couple of nights later God spoke to me in my dreams. That isn’t my verse, that’s the verse I have become. I take care of everyone & everything. I am strong, I have dignity, I laugh & enjoy life because tomorrow will take care of itself. No, my life verse is Deuteronomy 6:5. He gave me that verse all night, Deuteronomy 6:5, I couldn’t read it though & I couldn’t remember it. I woke up at my normal time, rested & searching for my verse. “Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, with ALL your soul & with ALL your strength” Deuteronomy 6:5.

My weight? Yep, I still have a way to go but, with God as my Savior I’ll get there. I’m loved by an awesome God, I’m an heir to His throne. He picked me! That makes me a winner! I, me, Stela, love the Lord my God with ALL of my heart, with ALL my soul (not a fraction but ALL) & with every bit of strength I have ALL my strength.

Thank You Father God for always showing me You love me. Thank You for this awesome relationship You have blessed me with. I am so grateful to be Yours. I still have more weight to lose & I know it is all a part of Your plan to build this temple the way You need it. I’m going through Refiner’s fire & I’m celebrating! I love You Father God, I love You Jesus, I love You Holy Spirit. Thank You for always having the best interest in my life. In Jesus beautiful name, Amen.

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10 thoughts on “His Goodness Makes Me … Awesome

  1. Hey Stela! I hopped over from the P31 page. I enjoyed your post! My issue with weight was brought on by a thyroid disease. The disease when undiagnosed led me to eat a lot and feel exhausted all the time. And weight gain. JOY. My hormone levels went back to normal, I had a bunch more energy and I lost 15lbs quickly after I got on medication. (I want to lose about 30lbs) But I am back in the weight gain phase again-waiting to see if my levels are off again. Part of me hopes so, otherwise I am just a lazy girl!! But more than that, I know my struggles are of a spiritual nature too. I am seeking comfort, or pleasure from things other than God. I get a lot of pleasure from eating. I hate it!! When I was younger (am 30 now) I could eat and eat and not gain anything. Old habits die hard. There is this song by Caedmon’s Call, I can’t remember the name of it right now (it has Pleasure somewhere in the title) but the lead singer sings that God didn’t create anything that will give us more pleasure than Him, and I think of my eating habits everytime I hear it.
    Thanks for your prayers, and it’s nice to meet you!!
    Beth

    • Hi Beth! I have the hypothyroid too. It’s hard not to turn to food but, we know we serve an awesome God & that He’ll take care of everything. Thanks for stopping by 😉

  2. Hey Beth and thanks for sharing your sweet heart with us! Weight issues… I understand and I see the same things in my mirror. I feel so lazy when it comes to loosing weight but it’s how I go about it that works against me. I need more of Jesus and to lean on Him instead of other things that don’t count. Being a Child of God is the most awesome thing we can ever be and when we totally commit to Him that’s all that counts! What a sweet prayer my sister and prayers for you and myself as I learn and know #WhoIAm in God is also A Child of God – Daughter of the King!! Much Love~ Cindy (OBS Small Group Leader)

  3. You are truly not defined by the number on your scale my friend. You are definded by the Word of God. He says you are wonderfully made. He says you are made in His Image. He says you are lavished with His Blessings. And with the mind set of loving Him with ALL of your heart, ALL your soul, and ALL of your strength, there is nothing impossible for Him to do IN you, AROUND you, and THROUGH you. You are His love letter to us my friend….and I love reading His Word.

  4. Hey girl, can I just say how much I love your candid approach to blogging! You make reading about our deepest issues so relatable and easy. I’m so proud of you for continually seeking to go deeper and deeper with God through these studies and for sharing your journey with those who need to hear these struggles and truths so they know they aren’t alone and so they too can grab ahold of Him to face them. So happy to be on this journey with such a beautiful Godly woman.

    • Girlfriend, you’ve taught me a LOT! I wouldn’t be where I am without you guiding me, without you listening to your calling to mentor us. I love you bunches & you will forever be in my prayers. ❤

  5. Thank you Stela for sharing those personal details and opening your heart. Love the way you tell your story. Made me look at myself in the same light. 🙂

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