I don’t know about you but, I look in the mirror & I just don’t see what others see. Curly hair, all I see are the frizzies. My eyes have shrunk over the years, they’re not big anymore. I’m fat, not as fat as I was but, still fat. Hmmm.
I didn’t have a say with the curls. It’s taken me years but, I like my curls now. Super easy to style.
My eyes … they’re my Daddy’s eyes. I miss having big eyes but, I miss him more. I have my Daddy’s eyes.
My weight? Ya, I did that to myself. I didn’t rely on my Savior I relied on sour cream cheddar chips, chocolate, ice cream & fast food. Not my best move. That was a definite AM (against me). I’ve been working on that. I’ve lost 44 pounds. I still have a way to go. But, I’m relying on God. Do I do that constantly? No, not at all. The last few weeks have been rough. I’m trying to stay on plan but, everything looks so good it’s hard. I’m believing by sharing this most personal of journeys will give me strength. I KNOW God is for me, I KNOW I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. So, why aren’t I losing weight? Why have I been gaining/losing the same 2 pounds.
My sweetheart suffers with chronic pain. My mom has dementia. I eat. I can’t fix either one of them. Hmmm, bacon? Hot chocolate? Yum yum yum. No no no!
God doesn’t always answer my questions the way I want. Sometimes He says wait or have patience. Yuck. I gained the weight pretty dang easy. Did I mention the chips or my friends Ben & Jerry?
Life isn’t always great, nope, sometimes it kind of sucks. But, I know He’s taking me through His Refiner’s fire. I’m a beautiful child of God who took a wrong turn for a while. Was it adultery, drugs or theft? No. But, I still didn’t bring my issues to Him. For the longest time I didn’t realize that He wants to pause for me, his chosen child. Even if it’s just something like I’m feeling overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities. He wants to help me, to hold me & comfort me.
The other day my awesome OBS leader & sweet sister in Christ Katrina Wylie asked us a question “what is your life verse?” I thought that was so easy! Psalm 31:25! “She is clothed in strength & dignity & she laughs without fear of the future.” A couple of nights later God spoke to me in my dreams. That isn’t my verse, that’s the verse I have become. I take care of everyone & everything. I am strong, I have dignity, I laugh & enjoy life because tomorrow will take care of itself. No, my life verse is Deuteronomy 6:5. He gave me that verse all night, Deuteronomy 6:5, I couldn’t read it though & I couldn’t remember it. I woke up at my normal time, rested & searching for my verse. “Love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, with ALL your soul & with ALL your strength” Deuteronomy 6:5.
My weight? Yep, I still have a way to go but, with God as my Savior I’ll get there. I’m loved by an awesome God, I’m an heir to His throne. He picked me! That makes me a winner! I, me, Stela, love the Lord my God with ALL of my heart, with ALL my soul (not a fraction but ALL) & with every bit of strength I have ALL my strength.
Thank You Father God for always showing me You love me. Thank You for this awesome relationship You have blessed me with. I am so grateful to be Yours. I still have more weight to lose & I know it is all a part of Your plan to build this temple the way You need it. I’m going through Refiner’s fire & I’m celebrating! I love You Father God, I love You Jesus, I love You Holy Spirit. Thank You for always having the best interest in my life. In Jesus beautiful name, Amen.