Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst is a good book. I like reading Lysa’s books, she writes in a familiar way, like she’s just sitting across from me with a cup of coffee. I feel the same way when I read the P31 blog & it’s Melissa, Nicki or Shelly. But, I have to admit, I started this study because I love OBS not because of the book this time. I’ve had the book for years, I’ve never read it the whole way. Honestly, I think this is the first time I’ve read anything after chapter 1. Why is that? I like Lysa’s books, I like this one but … oh my gosh I’m learning so much about me & it’s scaring me.
I like to think I rely on God but, during this study I have come to realize I don’t. It hurts me just to say that. What I’ve relied on is me, me & junk food. I can do all things through Doritos that fatten me. Rough day at work? Chocolate. What, my sweetheart hurt my feelings? Time for chips. No prayer, no slowing down. Enemy 1 Stela 0. Not cool.
I haven’t figured out this struggle during this study either. Stubborn or stupid? I no longer have things in the house that tempt me … or do I? I’ve learned that a jar of peanut butter soothes my soul for a bit … it’s going to have to move out, sigh. But, I’m still not auto pilot reaching to God to help me. I reach out to Him to tell Him everything else in my life but, not my food. It’s not logical, it’s the definition of insanity. I keep doing the same things I’ve always done & expecting a different outcome! What the heck? I teach this stuff but, I’m not living it!
Lord, please, HELP ME!
“For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” (Psalm 107:9).
Lord, instill Psalm 107:9 in my heart, make it my life’s calling. Please.
I sound like a whiny kid & I don’t mean to. But, why is it my sweetheart can eat anything & lose weight while I watch him & gain it. Hmmph. I think it’s ironic that God created me to be strong, independent, I take care of my sweetheart, the house, my job blah blah blah but, I can’t take care of me. And, because I’m so strong I don’t even think about reaching out to God & letting Him fix it. I pray, I ask Him to take this from me but, almost as soon as the prayer is off my tongue I’m thinking how I can fix this. All I have to do is stop eating, ya. Or, all I have to do is exercise more/different. I know! I heard about this new program, it’s going to work wonders!!!!
I could do an infomercial on infomercials … only 29.95 no shipping & if you act right now we’ll double your order of useless info! Sweet deal! I want me some of that!
I trust in my Savior. He has given me so much. I am blessed beyond measure. Yes, I have things I’m waiting for Him to fix but, I have so much more than I ever thought possible. This weight issue is His & I need to leave it with Him. I’m not craving things as badly as I have. I’m turning to Him more often when I’m at the store to keep certain things out of my basket. I’m making progress even if I haven’t lost 50 pounds during this study.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24
The Lord is my portion! I will wait for Him! Great is Your faithfulness, great is Your faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see.
Thank You Father God that You never give up on me. Thank You for loving me so fully, so deeply, so sincerely. I pray Lord, that I can love You in the same way. You are my God, my Savior, my Love. I love You! In Jesus mighty name! Amen.