Archive | February 2014

I Was Made for … More

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Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst is a good book.  I like reading Lysa’s books, she writes in a familiar way, like she’s just sitting across from me with a cup of coffee.  I feel the same way when I read the P31 blog & it’s Melissa, Nicki or Shelly.  But, I have to admit, I started this study because I love OBS not because of the book this time.  I’ve had the book for years, I’ve never read it the whole way. Honestly, I think this is the first time I’ve read anything after chapter 1.  Why is that?  I like Lysa’s books, I like this one but … oh my gosh I’m learning so much about me & it’s scaring me.

I like to think I rely on God but, during this study I have come to realize I don’t.  It hurts me just to say that.  What I’ve relied on is me, me & junk food.  I can do all things through Doritos that fatten me.  Rough day at work?  Chocolate.  What, my sweetheart hurt my feelings?  Time for chips.  No prayer, no slowing down.  Enemy 1 Stela 0.  Not cool.

I haven’t figured out this struggle during this study either.  Stubborn or stupid?  I no longer have things in the house that tempt me … or do I?  I’ve learned that a jar of peanut butter soothes my soul for a bit … it’s going to have to move out, sigh.  But, I’m still not auto pilot reaching to God to help me.  I reach out to Him to tell Him everything else in my life but, not my food.  It’s not logical, it’s the definition of insanity.  I keep doing the same things I’ve always done & expecting a different outcome!  What the heck?  I teach this stuff but, I’m not living it!

Lord, please, HELP ME!

“For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” (Psalm 107:9)

Lord, instill Psalm 107:9 in my heart, make it my life’s calling.  Please.

I sound like a whiny kid & I don’t mean to.  But, why is it my sweetheart can eat anything & lose weight while I watch him & gain it.  Hmmph.  I think it’s ironic that God created me to be strong, independent, I take care of my sweetheart, the house, my job blah blah blah but, I can’t take care of me.  And, because I’m so strong I don’t even think about reaching out to God & letting Him fix it.  I pray, I ask Him to take this from me but, almost as soon as the prayer is off my tongue I’m thinking how I can fix this.  All I have to do is stop eating, ya.  Or, all I have to do is exercise more/different.  I know!  I heard about this new program, it’s going to work wonders!!!!

I could do an infomercial on infomercials … only 29.95 no shipping & if you act right now we’ll double your order of useless info!  Sweet deal!  I want me some of that!

I trust in my Savior.  He has given me so much.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Yes, I have things I’m waiting for Him to fix but, I have so much more than I ever thought possible.  This weight issue is His & I need to leave it with Him.  I’m not craving things as badly as I have.  I’m turning to Him more often when I’m at the store to keep certain things out of my basket.  I’m making progress even if I haven’t lost 50 pounds during this study.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  Lamentations 3:22-24

The Lord is my portion!  I will wait for Him!  Great is Your faithfulness, great is Your faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see.

Thank You Father God that You never give up on me.  Thank You for loving me so fully, so deeply, so sincerely.  I pray Lord, that I can love You in the same way.  You are my God, my Savior, my Love.  I love You!  In Jesus mighty name!  Amen.

This entry was posted on February 20, 2014. 6 Comments