I Was Made for … More

Image

Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst is a good book.  I like reading Lysa’s books, she writes in a familiar way, like she’s just sitting across from me with a cup of coffee.  I feel the same way when I read the P31 blog & it’s Melissa, Nicki or Shelly.  But, I have to admit, I started this study because I love OBS not because of the book this time.  I’ve had the book for years, I’ve never read it the whole way. Honestly, I think this is the first time I’ve read anything after chapter 1.  Why is that?  I like Lysa’s books, I like this one but … oh my gosh I’m learning so much about me & it’s scaring me.

I like to think I rely on God but, during this study I have come to realize I don’t.  It hurts me just to say that.  What I’ve relied on is me, me & junk food.  I can do all things through Doritos that fatten me.  Rough day at work?  Chocolate.  What, my sweetheart hurt my feelings?  Time for chips.  No prayer, no slowing down.  Enemy 1 Stela 0.  Not cool.

I haven’t figured out this struggle during this study either.  Stubborn or stupid?  I no longer have things in the house that tempt me … or do I?  I’ve learned that a jar of peanut butter soothes my soul for a bit … it’s going to have to move out, sigh.  But, I’m still not auto pilot reaching to God to help me.  I reach out to Him to tell Him everything else in my life but, not my food.  It’s not logical, it’s the definition of insanity.  I keep doing the same things I’ve always done & expecting a different outcome!  What the heck?  I teach this stuff but, I’m not living it!

Lord, please, HELP ME!

“For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things” (Psalm 107:9)

Lord, instill Psalm 107:9 in my heart, make it my life’s calling.  Please.

I sound like a whiny kid & I don’t mean to.  But, why is it my sweetheart can eat anything & lose weight while I watch him & gain it.  Hmmph.  I think it’s ironic that God created me to be strong, independent, I take care of my sweetheart, the house, my job blah blah blah but, I can’t take care of me.  And, because I’m so strong I don’t even think about reaching out to God & letting Him fix it.  I pray, I ask Him to take this from me but, almost as soon as the prayer is off my tongue I’m thinking how I can fix this.  All I have to do is stop eating, ya.  Or, all I have to do is exercise more/different.  I know!  I heard about this new program, it’s going to work wonders!!!!

I could do an infomercial on infomercials … only 29.95 no shipping & if you act right now we’ll double your order of useless info!  Sweet deal!  I want me some of that!

I trust in my Savior.  He has given me so much.  I am blessed beyond measure.  Yes, I have things I’m waiting for Him to fix but, I have so much more than I ever thought possible.  This weight issue is His & I need to leave it with Him.  I’m not craving things as badly as I have.  I’m turning to Him more often when I’m at the store to keep certain things out of my basket.  I’m making progress even if I haven’t lost 50 pounds during this study.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  Lamentations 3:22-24

The Lord is my portion!  I will wait for Him!  Great is Your faithfulness, great is Your faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see.

Thank You Father God that You never give up on me.  Thank You for loving me so fully, so deeply, so sincerely.  I pray Lord, that I can love You in the same way.  You are my God, my Savior, my Love.  I love You!  In Jesus mighty name!  Amen.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “I Was Made for … More

  1. Oh my! I could have written these words. Especially about my hubby eats, I watch and gain. This has been a really hard OBS for me because I HAVE to be honest with myself! And frankly, it stinks!
    Keep saying your prayers (and resist fixing it yourself). I truly believe that those of us that are strong alone have the biggest lessons and will have the greatest rewards!

  2. I can totally relate. It seems that food is always the easy way out to comfort me. What I have found is to throw away all of my junk food. I asked a customer yesterday how in the world she keeps chocolate on her desk and doesn’t eat it. (as I was reaching for one) she grabbed her side and said every time I reach for one I pinch my love handles and it helps me to say no. 🙂 Very clever! I love this ” I can do all things through Doritos that fatten me.” hee hee Keep praying and I will pray for you as well. God bless! Beth- OBS Small Group 12

  3. Stela – I just reread all your posts. I have no words. I want to say something here, but I’m not sure what. You know me. I believe in God, just not in religion. I’ve never read the bible, never seen a miracle (except my children and grandchildren) and altho I love you to death – I had no idea who you are. No idea there was someone in side of you who could write words that would move me to tears. I’m not sure this feeling is about God in me, but more about God in you and your faith and how it has moved me. I don’t know what it is, but keep writing and posting your thoughts here. They are a miracle. You are a miracle. I love you Stela girl.

    • Thx Rosi. I’ve changed a lot from that 18 year old you knew. I’m still silly, I still love to have fun, I still have a smart mouth, lol. But, I have a peace I’ve never had before, it’s awesome. Definitely not a religion but, a relationship. A relationship with my Savior. I love you too!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s